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So, I'm keeping up with what's going on at Wimbledon. My freakin' sweet news feeds bring the information to my aggrigrator as soon as it becomes available. I read something else today about something else that happened at Wimbledon. Apparently, Andy Roddick spouted his mouth on a rant about “man bags” which are essentially purses for men.¹

That's brings me to an interesting question that I have to ask myself: if I had a manbag, what would I put in it? I guess a wallet, keys, my mobile phone… yeah, that's it. What else would I need in it? I feel that if I'm going to invest in a man bag, I need to fill it up so that I would get my money's worth. I suppose that I'd need to buy a whole bunch of crap to put in it. That's not something that I'd like.

I'll stick with pockets.

1. http://abcnews.go.com/International/story?id=2129001

When an American flag has become an unfitting emblem for display, the proper procedure for disposing the flag is to burn them. So, it would seem that burning a flag is not such an evil crime. However, if the intent of burning the flag is to desecrate the flag, some people in Washington want to make that illegal. Hmmm, think about that one; burning the flag is fine, but burning it when your intent is disrespect, it's not. So, the government is trying to make your thoughts illegal?

The Flag Desecration Amendment didn't pass through the senate today. I'm glad.

I'm picking Federer and Clijsters to win, but if I had my say…

http://www.wimbledon.org/en_GB/bios/ws/wtas961.html

Yeah, I pride myself on being a political independent. I grew up exposed to the right-wing's whatnot, but some (if not a lot) of the views that the political right holds are just to ridiculous for me to associate with. Looking at some sites yesterday, I came across a t-shirt store¹ that makes my point exactly:

Okay, here are some wonderful sayings for the great American dream of respecting life. “We don't like collateral damage, but it helps to stay the @#$% out of our way.”, “Just point at what you want dead.”, “Trying to win hearts and minds but willing to splatter them if necessary.” and, the one that offends me the most, “We kill foreigners so you don't have too.”. Wow, that one seems to me like it's trying to say that foreigners are a subhuman species who are out to kill the sons and rape the daughters of the superhuman Americans.

This one should be obvious why I find it offensive.

What's trying to be said here? Kill Muslims?

Okay, being of half-Mexican heritage², this doesn't bode well with me.

Whatever happened to the old American philosophy of being a beacon of light to the world? If you aren't aware, every single person in the United States is there because of immigration. If it was good then, why is it bad now?

Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.
Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me,
I lift my lamp beside the golden door!

Okay, rather than be so negative, I'll show some t-shirts that I actually liked.

Here's one that I really appreciate, but…

…when your consider their clientèle that they're trying to cater to (right-wing, conservative, moral Americans), I think that they need to rethink their advertising methods.

1. http://www.thoseshirts.com/
2. I said heritage. I did not say ancestry.

Okay, I think that I've decided what I want to do for a job next summer (since I hate my job now). I think that it would be really awesome to work in a brewery. Don't ask me what brought it up, but I've really been thinking that I might enjoy that type of work.

It seems that if anyone was destined for a job in an office behind a desk, it would be me. I grew up on a computer and majored in computer science. Sure, I like computers, but I don't think that a job behind one is for me. My first job was as a sauté cook. If that paid well, I would do that for a living; it's very rewarding work. For a time, I was looking into becoming a police officer, but that didn't work out. Now, I don't know what I want to do. It seems that my whole life, I've been pressured into some computer carrier. The good news is that most people don't end up in a carrier related to their major. So, since statistics don't lie,¹ that's good news for me.

Anyway, thoughts?

1. However, according to Mark Twain and Benjamin Disraeli, statistics are lies.

Does the thought that you're a pathetic moron keep you up at night? I'm trying to hope that I'm normal, but I keep thinking that there is no hope. That brings me to a question: would you rather be perfectly average and normal in the strict sense of the words or unique and different from everyone else but stupid as well?

I've seen this on other weblogs. Now, since I have nothing else to write about, here it is.

Have you ever…

• Taken a picture naked? Yes… and then composed music to it.
• Made out with a member of the same sex? No.
• Told a lie? Yes.
• Had a one night stand? No.
• Had feelings for someone who didn't have them back? Yes.
• Been arrested? No.
• Ditched school to have sex? No, but we did ditch class to make out in a closet. Ask me later.
• Slept in a bed with a member of the same sex? Yes.
• Seen someone die? Yes.
• Slept in until 3:00 PM? Yes.
• Laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by? Yes.
• Played dress up? Maybe.
• Fallen asleep at work/school? What kind of question is that?
• Touched a snake? Yes.
• Ran a red light? Yes.
• Had detention? Yes.
• Been in a car accident? Yes.
• Pole danced? Maybe.
• Been lost? Yes.
• Sang karaoke? Yes.
• Done something you told yourself you wouldn't? Yes.
• Laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose? No.
• Kissed in the rain? Maybe… I don't remember. Plus, I wouldn't want to.
• Sang in the shower? Today.
• Gave your private parts a nickname? Well, I haven't.
• Sat on a roof top? Yes.
• Played chicken? No.
• Broken a bone? No.
• Mooned/flashed someone? Hello! Birthday brigade?
• Slept naked? Sometimes.
• Played a prank on someone? Yes
• Made your girlfriend/boyfriend cry? “They say that breaking up is hard to do…”
• Cried over someone? No.
• Had sex more than ten times in one day? Is that legal?
• Had/Have a dog? Yes.
• Been in a band or played an instrument? Yes

I just saw something extremely horrifying on Facebook: AIDS jokes. Don't people know that it's not funny to make fun of people who are dying in one of the worst ways imaginable?

I like change. So, I changed things up. Tell me if you like it, but I'm not done yet. Hopefully, my site will look much different (in other words, better) in weeks to come.

So, my dad made the joke that the best way to deal with the immigration problem is to shoot about fifty of them on public television and say that they'll start shooting more. After that, they'll be crowding the borders trying to get out. Of course, my father's joking; his son-in-law is illegal.

So, how would I solve the illegal immigration problem? Hmmmm. I liken illegal immigration to jaywalking. Both are illegal. However, neither one is really a threat to the fabric of society. So, how would I solve jaywalking? I wouldn't. Similarily, how do I solve illegal immigration? I wouldn't.

So, I can't get my work to send me the hours that I need despite the possibility of overtime this week. So, what am I going to do next summer? I've decided that I want to be a waiter in a fancy hotel. You get to dress up nicely and serve people delicious food. I couldn't think of a better carrier… if only it paid well.

So, what am I doing without the hours that I need? I've reinstalled WoW. It was huge too. I had to take off Visual Studio and all of my music files. Yeah, my life is tough.

Here is a short lesson of my family:

• Mother's Side: They like guns. They buy guns. They use guns. At Christmas and Thanksgiving, they talk about guns.
• Father's Side: They like alcohol. They buy alcohol. They use alcohol. At Christmas and Thanksgiving, they talk about alcohol… while enjoying alcohol.

It goes without saying that my parents' marriage is dangerous. That is: guns + alcohol = accidental death(s). No, in honesty they get along fine. Today, I went to my cousin's wedding. Apparently, my cousin got married into a family of cowboys. It's now a Wolfe Family Tradition® to hold weddings in backyards. So, my cousin got married in our aunt's backyard. The ceremony went well and was very beautiful, but the reception was different. As one of the guests said, “Take the average number of teeth in a human [32… well, I used thirty-two, but he said average, not normal], multiply it by four (128), divide it by one and a half (83.333). That's the average IQ of a cowboy.” He probably wasn't too far off. Here's some more math for you all, keg of alcohol + cowboys + backyard wedding + large pond of water in that backyard = x, evaluate for x. Your answer should be x = cowboys jumping in water during wedding reception and throwing groom into water as well. It was very entertaining. If it weren't for the fact that I was dressed nicely, I probably would have joined them in their ritual… and I was completely dead sober.

After the water-jumping ritual (which had a good end in the fact that a lawn chair which had to have been there for years was retrieved from the depths of the water), the next event was dancing to country music. Some of the cowboys made it a goal to dance with each and every female in attendance, and these cowboys are true gentlemen, but my mother was a tad concerned when she was invited to partake by a gentlemen who had no shirt on (of course, you can't dance in a wet shirt).

Eventually, as the temperature got hotter and the keg got lighter, the party got quieter. Rather than jumping into the pond, the cowboys started to solve another math problem: how many cowboys can fit onto a paddleboat before the boat will sink? The answer is five; six will capsize the boat. After that, they all just sat around while the alcohol affected them in various ways. I would not have known that this was a wedding reception from seeing two shirtless, young men with beers sitting in a paddleboat for about an hour while relaxing after having a few too many.

I really love family. I know that I've said that blood is not thicker than water, and I still believe that. However, if people are willing to be your friends, I'm willing to be theirs. That's basically how family works. Now, I have several new, indirectly related family members. Whatever you might determine from the description above, I really like my new family members.

I've just finished my last paper for American Government. That means that I'm done with school now until next semester. It's about time that I finally finish five weeks after everyone else. With all of this free time, I don't know what I'm going to do with all of it. Oh, yes, there's a convention called working at my job that I hate.

I already can't wait for next semester.

So, I'm back in the old home state. I'm back hanging with all of my old friends. In addition, I'm chilling to some old music and watching the old television shows. What I mean by that is that I'm back in Colorado where I spent most of my pre-college life. I'm hanging around with all of the pre-college friends and family that I really don't see a lot out in Siloam Springs, Arkansas. Plus, I just finished watching Cheers. I miss it since I don't see a lot of that in Arkansas. Also, for no good reason, I'm listening to the old music that used to listen to a lot pre-college: Delirious? There's no greater band. Delirious? also brings with it (for me, at least) all the good old memories of people and places long past: old friends that I see and old friends that I don't.

Okay, so I'm back in the United States, and I'm suffering from jetlag along with some sort of fever/cold whatnot. Anyway, we left Schloß Mittersill for the airport in Munich. David had complications getting his ticket, but it was all eventually sorted out. It was here that I started feeling sick. So, I used my remaining euros to buy a water bottle. Other than that, we just sat around and waited to board an æroplane for London. We all said goodbye to Kyndel who was bound for an eventual destination of Riga. Once in London, we had to go through security again even though we were still clean from passing security in Munich. Dr. Castleman said that after the London terrorist attacks, the British were really just being protective of their borders. Since the United Kingdom has derogations to the border control clause of the European Union (along with Ireland), they could get away with this. After security, we entered the international terminal which was more like a mall inside of the airport. I used my still remaining euros to purchase some lipbalm. I paid in euros but got my change back in pounds. So, I had collected three different types of currency: Eurozone, British and Czech. We ate lunch at an Irish restaurant while we watched a cricket match. It brought back my desire to start a cricket club at JBU because, hey, if we're weird enough to have a rugby club, we could have a cricket club too.

We boarded the æroplane for another trans-Atlantic flight to Chicago. Missy didn't come with us because she was staying in England. I had an empty seat next to mine, so we invited Bethany to sit with us rather than sitting on the other side of the æroplane with a complete stranger. I, feeling bad, tried to get to sleep. To make the story short, I had to spend the night on the floor of Chicago O'Hare International Airport while waiting for my flight the next morning. Let me tell you, sleeping on the floor of O'Hare while I'm dead sick is not my idea of a good time. Regardless, I made it home. I saw all of the old faces at church today (and a ton of new ones). One of the questions I heard was if I kissed the floor when I got to O'Hare. I really don't know what to say to that. I don't hold America in some high regard like it's God's country or anything. Another similar question that someone asked was if I felt good being back in the best country of the world. Although I don't consider America as the best country in the world, I responed that I was home, and I was glad to be home.

The dreaded day had come: finals. So, when the day came, I decided to spend my time in the most efficient manner: I slept in. Since I didn't have the art class, I could get away with it. I finally woke up around noon and got some lunch into me. Then, I spend the rest of the day just hanging around the Schloß. When I tried to study, I eventually got sidetracked into some sort of card game on my computer. This lasted for some time. Eventually, the final was scheduled to be taken shortly after dinner at 19:30. So, I finally ended up taking my theology final. Every time that I take a final for Dr. Castleman's class, I kind of wish that I would have ended up majoring in theology. Well, to be honest, I wish that I would have majored in just about anything other than computer science, but scholarship money is a powerful decider in such matters.

After the final, we all gathered in one of the fireplace rooms in the castle that we've kind of claimed for our own sort of gathering spot. It was essentially a party time since finals were officially over. Dr. Ostrander surrendered to the rest of the group, pulled some strings and got us a copy of The Sound Of Music. So, we spent the rest of the evening watching the movie despised in all of Austria. I, however, we pleased. It reminded me of when I was in the play my freshmen year of high school. It brought new meaning to the movie when we actually walked through the very areas where the movie was filmed however many years ago. Of course, I appreciated The Sound Of Music for what it is: a story about a man who refused to become a Nazi stooge. It might seem that we don't have that problem in America. The truth is that I see a lot of parallels in American society today: the Reichstag fire and September 11 to Dachau and Guantánamo. The more I study the topic, the more I see history repeating itself. Maybe I'm just allowing my anti-American bias to influence my views. Still, being careful as far as personal ethics can never be a bad thing.

After the movie, we all sat around in the room talking to each other for a while while others went to bed. I sat beside the fire until the fire died down. There has been a major fire in the Schloß for every century of its existence, so the staff at the castle are very careful concerning fire and fireplaces. Being around the fire made be desire the days when we had a real fireplace in my home. However, there's something nice about being able to flip a switch and have fire.

The next day was a complete free day for us to do whatever we wanted. Some people went mountain climbing in the Austrian Alps. There was talk of some taking a van ride down to Venice, but that never substantiated itself. I really don't know what everyone else did because I slept in again. I finally woke up far past lunch or breakfast. After initially feeling sick, I felt better after I ate Jim's leftover lunch. Then, I just set about writing a paper. I had forgotten that I still had to write a paper about St. Mark and talk shortly about Veitshöchheim as a part of our village and saint projects. Once that was done, we pretty much all went our separate ways. Dayton went into another fireplace room to set the stove on fire, and I joined him not wanting to leave him alone. Jonathan and Dr. Ostrander came in later. I then expressed my disappointment that we didn't get to have a mock witch-burning. When we were given a tour of the castle on Wednesday, they showed us a room that was used to torture witches. That gave me the great idea to stage a mock witch trial and burning in the same way that it's tradition to hold a mock wedding every year. However, Dayton took a piece of paper, and, being the artist that he is, made an effigy of a witch. Jonathan took out his camera and filmed Dayton in his best Strong Bad voice,¹ played the part of the defendant and prosecutor. Jonathan recorded the whole thing which will be a whole lot funnier to watch in the morning. Although I didn't have his class, Dayton is freakin' hilarious. During The Sound Of Music, his smart-alec comments in his Strong Bad voice inspired the title of this post. You have to say the title in the Strong Bad voice for the full effect.

After the witch burning, I went and packed. Then, I went to the library to write a journal entry and look up some basic phrases in Latvian for one of the group members who's headed to Latvia tomorrow to work at an orphanage as a part of an internship. I also had to look up how my very own Maria Sharapova is doing in the Roland Garros Tournament. To be on the same continent as the French Open is going on but not being there tortures me!

1. I hate Homestar Runner, if anyone's curious.