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I've often wondered about how sincere my intentions are. When I go about my day, when I do the things that I do, am I doing them because I want to be good or am I doing them because I want to be seen as good?

I'm going to be honest here: sometimes, I feel like a fake. Here at John Brown, I colead a ministry designed to create awareness and activism of the global AIDS pandemic. The truth is that the AIDS pandemic is something that I seriously have a heart for. When I lead this ministry, I do it because I want to help out and not because I want to be seen helping out. If I wanted to be seen helping out, there are probably much easier ways to do that and better ways to be seen. However, when I'm doing the tasks for this organisation, the thoughts going through my head sometimes lean more towards the tendency of being seen doing good by other people.

The thing is that, in a way, I think that it's good for people to see me doing good and think better of me. I mean, do I really want people to see me doing good and think badly of that? Although, I know that when my thoughts are that I'll get exposure because of what I'm doing, my head isn't where it should be.

Well, I'm here writing when I should be studying, and, since I've pretty much finished writing about what I wanted to write about… I'll go study.