Weblog

So, I was watching the news today.¹ Specifically, it was ABC News, and I was only watching it because I was waiting for The Simpsons to come on. So, in the midst of this world inching toward a very near apocalypse,² one rather trivial story caught my eye. Specifically, there is a push to make any film that features cigarettes receive an automatic R rating.

I find this to be complete and utter ridiculousness.

An R rating? Films don't even get that for alcohol content even though the age for legally utilising alcohol is higher than that of utilising tobacco but still higher than utilising an automobile… which is rather irrelevant to mention except that it gives me another opportunity to utilise the word utilising all while spelling it with an s in the British style since I find the British spelling to be more colourful.

I'll admit that there is a certain bias here: I am a smoker myself. Usually, I limit myself to a sophisticated pipe to give the air an aromatic flavour. Occasionally, I'll treat myself to a cigar, but usually that's only if there's an occasion that warrants it. I don't utilise cigarettes unless they're Indonesian³ kreteks. If a pipe is the brandy of tobacco and cigars the wine, than cigarettes are definitely the beer, but kreteks are the premium malt beverage.

Why do I smoke? Well, if you asked my ex that question, she would probably naïvely respond because people just want to look cool. Well, she's wrong; people usually smoke because they like it. Still, there probably is that aura of being cool that gets people to start smoking. I can remember watching Casablanca where Humphrey Bogart's character not only smokes cigarettes, but he even has a classy cigarette case to keep them in. In the most amazing act of masculine elegance until the invention of James-Bond films, Bogart's character would throughout the film pull the case out of his pocket and put a cigarette in his mouth and fashionably smoke it. There is a possibility that observing that made me want to emulate it myself. It's possible, but more than likely, the reason that I started smoking was because it had been forbidden to me for more than eighteen years, and I just had to try it… but only because Humphrey Bogart made it look so good!

Okay, so movies do have an effect on people imitating the films, but so what? What is inherently wrong with smoking that our society feels a need to lead a jihad⁴ against it? Sure, I agree that sex and violence are grounds for increasing a rating, but people don't just go around boinking each other in public and cutting each other's heads off in the streets. Still, people will smoke while walking up and down the sidewalks without most people giving an evil glare or even a mere second look. Most if not all models of cars actually come with ash trays and cigarette lighters. That right there should say that we're a society that accepts public smoking. So, why is it such a taboo if smoking than appears in films depicting that society?

I kind of can't believe that I went on a rant this long defending smoking. It's almost as if someone went after my precious tobacco, and I had to fight back. It almost sounds like I'm addicted until you realise that you would probably do the same if someone came after meat or chocolate. Sure, you're not addicted to it, but do you really want to give it up just because some two-bit schmuck tells you that it's bad for you?

Chocolate sounds good right now.

1. Technically, yesterday since it's about 2:45 AM.
2. And you should know that I don't really believe that.
3. Or Malaysian if that's all that's in stock.
4. Or “crusade”, if you prefer.