Weblog

I kind of take the bus everywhere I go these days. As much as I would like to claim that my taking the bus to get to and from everywhere is motivated by some noble desire to save the environment or cause less congestion on the highways or something along those lines, none of those really matter because I don't have a car. Regardless, I pollute less, I save money from not having to park, and I snicker at the poor bastards stuck in traffic while the bus cruises down the express lane every morning.

Anyway, this evening on the way back home from work, we passed a bus that had broken down. The driver had the good sense to stop and take on the passengers from the other bus. Needless to say, it got a little crowded. When I noticed that there were ladies that were standing, I did what any young gentleman should do: I offered my seat to one of these ladies.

Here seems to be the irony worth pointing out: most women who I offer the seat to refuse to take it. Most of the time, they simply decline politely. However, it's not uncommon at all for a woman to give me a stare of surprise with a look of near disgust as if to say: “Did you really just do that?” It's almost as if I were treating her as a member of the weaker sex and insulting her in the process.

That's totally understandable. What once would have been considered chivalrous is now fundamentally sexist. This is America: the nation that was founded as an experiment in egalitarianism.¹ Americans (at least Americans now) take equality so seriously that “separate-but-equal” wasn't equal enough. So, pretty much, the thought that treating a woman as anything that might seem different is cause for an alarm. Maybe some people are shocked that society has decayed so much that such a response from a woman is cause for an alarm. Regardless, the last goal of chivalry is to offend. Also, societal norms change, and it's the people who don't change who end up looking like idiots.

The only thing left to do to make a weblog entry like this complete would be to ask my multitude of female friends what they think about it. I'm way ahead of myself here:

• One person said that every time a man does something chivalrous like giving up a seat or holding the door open, she, if only for a brief moment, “falls completely and totally in love.”
• Another said that she would simply appreciate it since it was the way that she grew up in her Midwestern life.
• Yet another said that she feels that men should still give up seats on the bus, she prefers to stand thus begging the question “Why bother then?”

I feel the need to continue writing, but my eyelids don't want to allow me that pleasure. Besides, tomorrow morning, I'm waking up early to go eat breakfast with some of those female friends of mine.

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1. And, if you ignore slavery, segregation and the now everpresent trend to see terrorism and Islam as one in the same, it's sure has done a damn fine job.