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Lately, I've just made some realisations… and I'm talking about the bad type of realisations. In a nutshell, I think that I've failed in life.

I'm not really a good friend to my friends. Sure, I have a couple or so friends who would go to bat for me, but, overall, you won't find the majority of my friends telling me that I'm incredible or something like that… at least, you won't find them saying that publicly. The reality is that I understand. I kind of am a jerk in quite a few ways. It makes sense to me, and I'm not fine with it.

I just wish that I could redo life. Never mind trying to fix things after the fact.¹ Starting out by not ruining friendships would have been a better solution had I implemented it earlier. That would have been such a great idea if only I had thought about it… twenty years ago or so.

Bottom line: I wish that I meant the same to all the people that I think very highly of.

Just writing that seems like a selfish thing to say in itself.

1. Which never really worked anyway.