Weblog

So, I'm back in Arkansas. I took a trip down for a little less than a week just for the fun of it. I'm sitting at my desk at my old job waiting for a response from technical support out in Pacific time, so I figured that while I'm waiting and while I have a Dvorak keyboard available, I should write stuff.

I flew out to Arkansas on Thursday. As I was parking the car at the airport in Denver, I saw something that amazed me in a way. I got on the shuttle to head to the airport and on walked a man and (I'm assuming) his daughter. She would have had to have been about five or six years old. There was nothing too unusual about the way that these two dressed: garden-variety t-shirt and jeans. What was unusual was the fact that they were both wearing cheap, novelty cowboy hats in such a carefree manner.¹ This girl was absolutely adorable. Whatever she said or did instantly made everyone on the shuttle smile joyfully.

The sight really brought out two emotions in me. The first was the reminiscing of the forgotten innocence of childhood and the excitement of every day being new and exciting instead of our settled monotonous routines. The other feeling that I felt was one of want: specifically, I want children.

I normally flip-flop on this issue. Some days, I feel like Diane Keaton in the film Father Of The Bride, Part Two where she's looking at all the mothers and daughters having a wonderful time running and frolicking down the street. Other days, I feel like Steve Martin watching the misbehaved sons and their frustrated fathers. Thursday wasn't one of those days. I think that I felt the urge of wanting children more than I ever have. Before, it was just one of those things that I'd plan on getting around to one day. Now, it's something that I'm really thinking about, and it's way too soon to even begin to think about it. For one (and most importantly), I'm not even in a relationship right now. Also, I don't even have a home or a job or even a clue what I want to do in life at the moment. The problem is that I don't really care about any of that at the moment. I'm living one day at a time. I have no plans at the moment, and I have no plans to make plans, so I'm just going to have to deal with not having children of my own and live vicariously through my siblings and be the best uncle that I can be…

…and I am a sweet uncle.

1. On a side note, I really don't know why people have this impression that people in Colorado wear bolo ties and cowboy hats. Colorado is nothing like that, but the tourism boards in Colorado like to promote the idea that we do. It's a lie!